It’s midnight, and I can’t fall asleep because I’m anxious. You’ll never guess about what.
I could be spinning about what happens next. How the PrezObam is going to salvage something out of the wreckage of the last eight years. I’d say most people are more optimistic than I am, which is probably a good thing. But I also suspect most people don’t know the extent of the damage, which is another way of saying that I’m being pessimistic.
You probably think I am referring to the economy, and I am, but there is also the environment, which in the long run is far more critical. And our various cluster-fraks spanning from Egypt through occupied Palestine to Iraq and Afghanistan. The damage to our public education system by right wing ideologues. But this isn’t what is keeping me awake tonight.
Last night I made dinner (under Fuad’s direction) and we sat at the table. He turned on the TV, something I’m not sure I know how to do, and it was on Animal Planet, I think. Some animal rescue program.
They showed this adorable young cat that had been adopted and promptly neglected. The temporary collar it had been given in the shelter was never removed, and somehow her front left leg had gotten caught in it so that it was abrading what would be her underarm, if you will. She grew, and the collar continued to saw into her the underside of her leg for eight months. It created a huge open wound, raw and infected. The rescue agent said the stench was horrible and documented the damage with the intent of filing charges.
You have to wonder, didn’t the new owner notice? How could they not? What right did they have to torture this poor animal? As far as I’m concerned, neglect of this extent is torture.
The cat was removed from the home of the owner and taken to a vet who expressed alarm at the extent of the damage and set to work cleaning the wound in hopes of saving the leg.
By this point, Fuad had gone downstairs so I turned off the TV. Now, I am haunted by this cat and left to ponder, pointlessly and unproductively, why people are such assholes. Why. Why. Why.
Our greatest defect, if you ask me, is our lack of empathy. Our inability or unwillingness to put ourselves into the shoes of others. If most people could do this, there would be no animal cruelty. No crisis in the middle-east or Sudan or Zimbabwe anywhere else. No demonizing of an “enemy,” which are really people just like us with far different histories in far different situations.
So I’m sitting up here in my comfy bed, angsting over some unfortunate kitty who had to suffer needlessly, knowing it is just the topmost ice crystal of a massive iceberg of millions of abused animals and millions of abused children and adults. It hurts. It ties my stomach in a knot. I visualize it, and my body floods with adrenaline, which certainly doesn’t help me fall asleep.
I don’t know. Does a species that inflicts suffering and destruction on such a massive scale deserve to survive? Certain groups will spend tens of millions of dollars to strip a right from a targeted minority group while completely ignoring environmental destruction, child slavery and human trafficking. Certain groups will spend hundreds of billions dropping bombs on brown people while allowing their nation’s infrastructure and education system to buckle. Our priorities are all fraked up.
And I keep thinking of that beautiful orange and white striped kitty.
I took a Xanax before writing this. I can feel it kicking in. The fuzzy barrier between me and reality that will allow me to sleep. I suppose I could have had a drink instead but I think alcohol generally tastes nasty, so Xanax it is.
Mean people suck. We suck. Yes, I should be happy about the PrezObam but right now I’m not hopeful that Americans will make the required sacrifices. That Americans will set the required example. However, I could be wrong about that. During WWII we showed the world, and ourselves, that we could do what it takes to succeed. We demonstrated just how great we can be.
I hope we do it again. Because we have to. We have to not suck.
Eyelids are heavy. Feeling fuzzy. Rob out.
We can recognize how effed-up our world is and still work towards a better society. Your work on Prop 8 is testament to that. The very fact that you’re speaking out, making noise, asking others to speak up and get involved is what is needed for us to succeed. Not to be cliché, but one person can make the difference.
Maybe because I’ve always been an optimist I’m a bit more positive than most. I’m hopeful for the future, not only because of a new history making president, but because perhaps, just perhaps, we’ve finally seen that we’re all, both as a nation and as individuals, are in this struggle for a better nation, a better world, together.
I can never watch those shows. Kitty Cats do that to me as well. So I volunteer at the Humane Society and scoop litter for 2 hours! Sounds gross, but i get to hold kittens and let them give me kisses and cling on to my shirt. I always think of being Pee Wee herman in Pee Wees Big Adventure and saving all the animals! Ric would kill me! I vacuum up enough hair as it is. As you know, I have time on my hands.
I gave up on worrying about others behavior a long time ago. I concentrate on creating my own little slice of heaven. This does not mean that I ignore what is going on in the world. I just realized that I only have control and accountability for what surrounds me. I love, live and laugh. If we all concentrated on making ourselves positive and sharing that positive versus worring about others negatives we would all share understanding “you may say that Im a dreamer, but I am not the only one” I will forgive and forget because life is too short to harbor negative energy. I stand up for my rights when I feel I have been trespassed upon but forgive those for their ignorance. When I get angry I put my headphones on turn up System of A Down or Tool or something and jump around the house in my underwear. It gets it out of me then I feel good and strong. I am loving this week! Yesterday was awesome, I loved at 12 oclock the world seemed to stand still and listen. How easy we forget that influencing someone with positive behavior versus telling, yelling and scolding is so much more effective.
Anger = Anger Get out and share the love and people will love you for it. For the assholes, they are misguided. Everyone wants to belong and no one likes to be told their wrong. So dont yell at them that their wrong show them whats right by behaving like the loving caring person you are.
Yeah, Animal Cops will get you upset and feeling shitty about humanity, watching it is often painful.
You are correct about the unseen things that will need fixing. I know there are many. But you can see that Obama is a firecracker and a good manager, so things will get fixed. It’s just too bad he may be too busy to go that greater distance to make improvements.
That said, I have a friend who does IT in the VPs office. He said there were numerous egg sacs, pods and facehuggers to be removed from there. He wasn’t able to check in the drop ceilings where he thinks he heard more skittering.
On our greatest defect, our lack of empathy:
“But before you come to any conclusions
try walking in my shoes”
/Depeche Mode “Walking in My Shoes”/
I’m worried to hear that sometimes you need meds or a drink to be able to sleep. Of course, I’m very far from thinking you shouldn’t care about all this. Keep up the good work but feel responsible only for yourself. Feeling responsible for the whole humanity is way too heavy a burden for any individual. Also, I wouldn’t call you a pessimist – rather a realist, which is healthy. You did exactly the right thing by venting your anxiety here. I’m sure all you can expect is empathy.
I’ve tasted anxiety but the news I heard yesterday made me very optimistic. Can’t wait to e-mail you my joy. Sleep well, I’m always spiritually with you. I’m sure we all are.
I couldnt read this post. can’t.
My little mouse, who I rescued in november from the Van Nuys shelter is up to 7 lbs. when I got him he was a sickly, heavily depressed 3 pounds. he went into the shelter a month and a half earlier at 6 lbs. he was dying.
Now, he’s happy, bouncy, sassy and LOVES his big brother, the Bug. i think he likes me, too.
but how many cats aren’t as lucky? thousands? milllions? thrown into bins for disposal like used underwear. I can’t think of it, or I’ll go crazy.
you should’ve been watching the inauguration balls.
To cheer us all up, let’s imagine W’s day today. I’ll bet he’s at the bottom of a bottle of Jack Daniels, passed out in his own vomit, as Laura dials her lawyer.
Ex President Bush
President Obama
There.
Doesn’t that feel better?
One small at a time. Nobody can save the world at once. It is nice of you to feel the sympathy of the less fortunated animal and people. Just prove that again you are a nice person. Hope that you had a good night of sleep.
To abuse that kitty…there are words for that I do not use! There are many more important concerns in our country/world than gay marriage. In a better day, the Christian community established schools, orphanages, and hospitals to educate the ignorant and care for the sick and abandoned.
Even more importantly, their focus was on preaching the Scriptures and administering the Sacraments, not getting involved in politics. Of course individuals should vote…intelligently.
The cause of all this is summed up in two words: Original sin! Charlie
There is justice in the universe. It is called Karma. Those who inflict suffering will get theirs eventually.
After reading Barack Obama’s book ‘Dreams from My Father’ I have hope that we may now have a caring and insightful new President. One that is capable of compassion and humility. One with the brains to carry through on some needed help and relief for the country and the world. I really do have faith in him. Sadly, he does have all the corporate corruption of Washington to deal with. The individuals that cause cruelty out in the world, that is where we all must speak out against as you just did. Keep it up! and Thank You for your caring human heart.
Empathy and Charity are useless unless we go into action and directly become involved, instead of just whining about how horrible things are and just throwing money at the problem and hoping it goes away so you can feel better about yourself. Kudos to you Kevin for doing volunteer work, expect some karma rewards in the next life.
Thanks for the support, you guys are the best.
It’s rare I need sleeping pills, Benji. I have Xanax left over from Chuck’s death – a time when even heavily drugged I’d have trouble sleeping.
It probably won’t surprise anyone that I don’t buy into the “Original sin” myth. However, I also don’t buy into “Karma” anymore either. It’s a great idea, but just because it’s a great idea and makes me feel good doesn’t mean it exists.
I guess I’m getting cynical in my old age and expect things like, you know, testable evidence :-)
The beauty of Karma is you don’t have to believe in it. If you are a good person just for the sake of being a good person then you have nothing to worry about. If your deeds are evil… the universe will catch up to you.